(c) 2014 Adrienne Gusoff     All rights reserved

Back to Fun Stuff Page

Yiddish Dictionary

Jewish Jokes

Explanation of Results

 

1) Which one of these people might best be described as "zoftig?"

a) Callista Flockhart
b) Kate Moss
c) Kirstie Alley
d) Woody Allen

Zoftig literally means "juicy" but it refers to a voluptuous female.

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

2) You're driving around in eckveldt [nowheresville] and have no idea where you are. You are:

a) farblunget - completely lost
b) farklempt - overwrought
c) farputzt - overly made up/over-dressed
d) farshvitzed - all sweated up

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

3) You found it! The Holy Grail! A $2000 designer dress for just $39.95! You've found a:

a) mechaiyeh - great physical pleasure
b) mishpucheh - family
c) machashafer - witch
d) metziah - bargain

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

4) Which one of these people has/had a "ferbisseneh punim?" [sour/bitter face]

a) Michael Jackson
b) Dick Cheney
c) Barbra Streisand
d) Julia Roberts

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

5) He eats like a pig and wipes his face with the back of his hand. He farts and picks his nose at the dinner table. He curses like a drunken sailor. He's a real:

a) shnorror - begger, mooch
b) gonif - thief
c) grubber yung - gross young man
d) mensch - decent human being

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

6) Which of these is NOT a body part?

a) poulkie - thigh
b) potchki - a mess or v. mess around
c) pupik - belly button
d) punim - face

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

7) Which of these is NOT an insult:

a) shana yid - beautiful Jew (referring to their soul; i.e. a fine, decent, upstanding person.)
b) shmegeggie - doofus
c) shmendrik - another kind of doofus
d) shlub - slob

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

8) You've gone to a wild party where you've been downing vodka jello shots like candy. You can barely stand up anymore, and you've made a fool of yourself in front of everyone you know. You are totally, completely:

a) fershtayst - understand?
b) farblunget - lost
c) fertchadet - confused
d) fershikert - drunk

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved


9) Which of these things would you never find at a kosher restaurant?

a) shmaltz - chicken fat
b) luckshen kugel - noodle pudding
c) milkhig un flayshig - milk and meat
d) kasha varnishkes - buckwheat groats with bowtie pasta

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved


10) Of these various uses of "kishka", which one is incorrect?

a) "Yes, waiter. I'll have the roast chicken with a side order of kishka."
b) "That Yetta, she's such a piece of kishka!"
c) "After twenty years of keeping secrets, he finally went to a shrink and spilled his kishkas."
d) "If anyone ever tried to mug me, boy, I'd give him such a chamalyiah in the kishkas!"

Kishka is guts, in the literal and figurative sense. It's also Jewish soul food -- spiced matzo meal, stuffed into a sausage casing (i.e. intestines or guts), then sliced and fried. Mmmmmm!

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

 

11. Of this list, who is/was the most "ungeshtupped mit gelt?" [loaded/stuffed with money.]

a) Mitt Romney
b) Honey Boo-Boo
c) Neil Armstrong
d) Lance Armstrong

 

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

12) Which one of these people might be described as a “trombenik?”

a) YoYo Ma
b) Donald Trump
c) Albert Einstein
d) Neil Degrasse Tyson

Trombenik is a blowhard, someone who "toots their own horn."

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

13) If you had kookl-hist [whooping cough] you'd probably want a:

a) krankshvester - nurse
b) shlosser - mechanic (or hit man)
c) mosser - stool pigeon
d) moyhel - ritual circumsizer

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

14. If you dreamed you had a visit from the Malach ha-Movis [Angel of Death] you had a:

a) fortzenzoffer - loud, stinky fart
b) klemerl - paper clip
c) moyleyzl - mule
d) beyzer kholem - bad dream

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

15. Which of these things would you least want to find in your house:

a) a murashke - ant
b) a moyshe-rabeynes kiele - lady bug
c) a vantz - bedbug
d) a shpin - spider

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

16) Which one of these is not edible:

a) vaynshl - cherry
b) borifkas - blueberries
c) negl-sherl - fingernail
d) retekh - radish

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

17. If you've spend the day shlepping [carrying/hauling] a lot of heavy stuff, you might need everything below except:

a) shvitzbod - steam bath
b) kapelye - musical band/orchestra
c) dreml - nap
d) killa bendl - hernia truss

© 2003 - 2013 Adrienne E. Gusoff/Bubbygram.com All rights reserved

It has come to my attention that this quiz is being lifted, verbatim, and placed on other websites without credit, links or payment. While it's flattering to be found entertaining, please note this quiz is original, copyrighted material and subject to full protection under international law. Any violations will be fully prosecuted! You have been warned! If you would like to include this quiz on your website, with a link to mine, please contact me via email and ask me nicely.